


Flexible

by Missy



Category: Army of Darkness (1992), Evil Dead (Movies), Evil Dead - All Media Types
Genre: Bad Sex, Challenge Response, F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-02
Updated: 2013-07-02
Packaged: 2017-12-16 21:22:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/866740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was hotter when Stoya did it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flexible

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Bad Sex Fest '13, prompt: Any Character, Any/Any, It looked much easier in the porn movie

It was her first night in his home, and he was planning on doing it up right. Luther Vandross, cheesecake and a fur throw rug set before a roaring space heater.

What he got was awkward fiddling and a lukewarm bottle of cold duck. 

“Get your knee over my hip,” he demanded, slapping it for emphasis. “Come on!”

Nervously, she licked her bottom lip and shifted against his touch. “I do not believe that I bend in such a manner, milord.”

His eyebrows knit together. “If the other chick can do it you can too!”

She frowns. “Mayhaps that is the problem!” she huffed, pushing him away and off of her body. “I am no harlot built for thy randy cock!” Pouting, Sheila yanked the blanket up toward her chin.

Ash sat back on his heels, pouting, hard, and put out. There would be no further loving tonight, and he wasn’t yet sophisticated enough to understand why. He flopped back onto his back. “…This was a lot hotter when Stoya was doing it.”

She smacked him right in the nose with a feather-loaded down pillow. “Shut up.”

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction uses character from **The Evil Dead Trilogy** , all of whom are the property of **Universal/Ghosthouse**. No money was gained from the writing of this fanfiction and all are used under the strictures of of the Berne Convention.


End file.
